How did I begin what my husband lovingly (?) calls, "My 15 Year Vacation"? (editor's note: There have been several extensions of said vacation. I may set a record. I'm in it to win it.) My husband will tell you there was no discussion. I think he means he had no say. And he may be right. I had always planned on staying home with my (presumed) 5 children. I worked an administrative job before and after we married and I did it solely for the insurance as my spouse is self employed. When our first pregnancy ended in my son's stillbirth, I returned to the job so I could try again for the family we so desperately wanted. And, after surviving that, there was no way I was handing my baby over to daycare. I didn't want to miss a minute, good or bad. But, obviously, that's me and my situation. As a SAHM, I have never held it against anyone who needed to work, whether it was financially or emotionally driven. Well, not to their faces anyway. Kidding! Being in the trenches daily, I could certainly see how somebody would want to form relationships away from the diaper pail. Why do you think I'm so chatty with the Jewel checkers? But seriously, it was important for me to be home and we were lucky to be able to afford it. We're not rich (by any stretch!) but we live in a nice house in a nice town. If I had had a great career or needed an income, I may have done things differently and that would have been a tough choice to make. Regardless, all moms are on the job 24/7 and doing their best!

21 years ago when our first child was born, my husband and I made a conscious decision that I would stay home with our kids. I really wanted to and loved being home with them. We both always figured, however, that I would return to work at some point. College education is expensive for four kids, especially when there are often multiple kids in school at a time.

How presumptuous of us to think that when I "was ready," the job market would have a place for me! I have been very, very lucky. Not only did I take the additional gamble and go back to school to get my teacher's certification so that I could get a job that would be meaningful and fulfilling, but I finished that degree only to meet the toughest job market for teachers that we have ever had.

I have advised my 13 year old daughter that she should plan on working while having children. My boys already assume they will marry working women. I think the recent job market and the cost of living and educating kids requires the security of two incomes -- even if you just stay in part-time and use all of your earnings to pay for child-care -- it means that if you really need to work, you will have that option available to you.

I was a young mom during "The Mommy Wars" and while I had strong opinions in my 20's and 30's that I had made the 'better choice,' I have many friends who worked full-time in high-powered jobs who were fabulous mothers and who have raised wonderful kids. I think it can be done well.

I have been a working Mom from 4 weeks after my first son was born. Being self- employed there was no maternity leave- or insurance coverage. But we were lucky/ blessed to have my parents step forward to watch both our boys. As the years have passed, I have slowly reduced my hours at work. My job has always given me the flexibility to attend functions and volunteer at their school. We've had to make sacrifices but I have enjoyed having my feet in both working and stay at home Mom worlds.

I had a good career as an accountant when I had my son 23 years ago. I had planned on going back to work full time and had always thought of myself as being a hard driving career woman, but the truth is once I had him, I could not leave him. I compromised and went back to work part time. Throughout the years, I have mainly been self-employed and/or a freelancer, even when I got divorced from my first husband.
I don't regret it for a moment, even though I have friends who stayed with their corporate jobs and have way more in assets and titles than I do. It was the best decision for me and my child at the time, and i don't regret it. But it's a shame that women have to make these difficult choices, because either way, we sacrifice something valuable.

When I had my first son over 20 years ago, I had to work. My husband and I were in our mid twenties and he was just getting his career started. I worked for the Time Magazine Group in a very corporate environment. My boys went to a family owned daycare that was a great experience and they were very well cared for there. When my youngest was three we moved to St. Louis and I was able to 'retire' and stay home with my boys. I admit, it was extremely tough on me. I had relocated to a new city, had no friends, and suddenly was home full-time with my boys who were used to daycare and non-stop activity. Eventually we got settled and I adapated to being a stay at home mom and then it was time to move again! It turns out I had a job moving our family from state to state every couple of years, I just didn't get paid for it! My husband has always told me, "You work hard for no money."
Now that my boys are almost fully grown, I appreciate all the time I was able to spend with them, but have no regrets about the daycare years. I have found that I'm a much better parent when I'm not with my children 24/7. I commend women and men who are able to do this, but I need time away. I missed having something to call my own and am grateful now that I have my photography and my Patch Columns. I believe it's about balance and doing what is right for you. What is right for me might not be for you and we all need to respect each other since it truly is a personal decision.

Great discussion today Mom's Council. It's great to hear your thoughts on what must be a very difficult decision to make. Seems like everyone is happy with what they chose.

When I had my son 29 years ago, I had a good job with a major computer manufacturer. I was not ready to leave work, I think I was afraid that I would miss out on something not working - until my son began using expressions that my elderly foreign babysitter used - I thought to myself, "No, I am the best person to raise my son." I then was a stay-at-home mom from the time he was 2 and my daughter was born 2 years later. I became a single mom when the kids were young (6 and 2) and fortunately had a favorable financial situation that allowed me to stay home. As time progressed, I started my own business when my son started junior high. Having that kind of flexibility and some income was a good decision: I was able to schedule my work around their sports and school schedules and am very happy that I was at home. Finances do dictate different decisions sometimes and certainly I agree that there are ups and downs to both being an outside-of-the-home working mom and a stay-at-home mom. When I did quit my 'real' job I was so relieved that I did not feel guilty about not being home when I was a work and guilty about not being at work when I was home. Life was more relaxed and fun - and though I have said this before, it bears repeating: Raising your kids: - the longest days, the shortest years.