Maneuvering the Minefield Known as the Teen Years

What started as a kindergarten play date ended up to be a lifelong friendship—not only for the two kindergartners but their moms, as well.

Russ and Nancy Schwerin and I were among the parents who attended Kindergarten Roundup in the spring of 1987. It was a big event in and of itself, but especially noteworthy because Dale Schaefer, principal at the time of Ogden Avenue School, welcomed the parents of the Class of 2000, which seemed light years away.

The first day of “the big K” dawned. Sam, my son, and Chris, Nancy’s son, were in the same class. As I always have said, the kids need you for the first 10 minutes after school to figure out where they are going to play and with whom. It was early in the school year, and Sam had asked if Chris could come over. I said sure.

Nancy came to the door when she dropped off Chris at our home and said, “Chris has been having a problem swearing. Please call me if he says a swear word.”

I agreed, thinking that the issue would probably not come up because it was the first time the boys were playing together and I figured they would be on their best behavior. I was wrong.

I overheard a conversation in which Chris called someone a choice name, one that was surely on Nancy’s list of reasons to call. I debated about calling. It had been the first time that she and I really had had a conversation. But she said to call, so I did. She picked her son up. She also had him write me an apology letter.

That one incident cemented a bond between us that has lasted 25 years. We both were stay-at-home moms, and had a great time through the years with and without the kids. We went on field trips every time there was a day off school and our families even vacationed together in the summers. We still celebrate holidays and birthdays together. The boys remain friends to this day.

When they were entering high school in the fall of 1996, we received the newsletter from Lyons Township High School welcoming the freshman class. Linda Dunne, now retired from her post as student affairs liaison, had written an article talking about the Parent Community Network. She was looking for volunteers to start the group. It seemed like a perfect opportunity to meet new parents, see what kids were really doing and keeping an eye on them at the same time. Nancy and I went to an initial meeting, volunteered for some of the committees and were program chairpersons for the first of what would become an annual Parent University.

As is stated on the LTHS Website, Parent and Community Network is a volunteer group of parents, educators and community members from Lyons Township, that share the goal of on-going parental education and support for each other to raise healthy, well-adjusted, substance-free and violence-free children. Through Parent University (PU) and other educational programs, newsletters and social media, the network’s mission is to enhance communication, share information and support parents, schools and other community groups in promoting and creating a healthy and safe environment for our youth. PCN encourages parents to learn, network and talk with one another and their children, keeping the lines of communication open.

Nancy and I both felt strongly about the directive of PCN. In fact, we felt it so important to meet and talk with other parents, we held "coffees" at our homes (much to the kids’ chagrin) where we would invite the parents of our sons’ schoolmates. It was a great comfort to meet all the parents, learn who was home during the day, exchange ideas and compare rules and guidelines.

Now, what started as a small volunteer group in 1996, has evolved and grown. The 14th annual Parent University was held on Feb. 5. A total of 221 parents attended and, from all accounts, it was a very worthwhile and important day for those who participated.

Parent University kicks off the day with a keynote speaker, and this year it was Maureen O’Hara. O’Hara has worked in student assistance programs at a local high school for more than 14 years and has been employed by Cook County Sheriff’s Department as a family counselor and prevention specialist. She holds an master's degree in counseling and human services. Her topic was “Parenting: the Great Balancing Act—When to Step in and When to Let Go!” This is an on-going question for many of us.

PCN aids in raising funds with the PTC (Parent Teacher Council) for the post-prom event, the Odyssey cruise for senior prom-goers—a substance-free event that in some years has boasted 100% attendance. Now in its 21st year, businesses and families throughout the area buy raffle tickets to help defray the cost for the students and allowing them to have a grand party in a safe and controlled environment.

My involvement with other parents and with PCN has enriched my life—sometimes giving me a "heads-up" on a situation, occasionally allowing me to look at things from a different point of view and, lastly, affirming the importance of parenting and giving me the ability to seek and find like minds among the parents of my kids’ friends.

I still have that apology letter.

Parent Community Network is on Facebook.