Paulette Delcourt: I Voted and I Almost Liked It
Mockin' the vote, but hey, it's Illinois.
I thought twice when my husband called and invited me to go vote with him over lunch, but I reluctantly agreed.
Seconds later, I was finishing up an IM chat with a co-worker when I saw our minivan pull up in the driveway—“brb” I typed, “I’m going to go vote.” I finished the sentence with an animated crying emoticon—normally this may be considered unprofessional, but it’s on our approved corporate “emo” list along with the hugs and rainbows.
“Wishing you short lines,” my colleague wrote back. I hadn’t thought I might have to wait in line—that would have been a deal breaker.
Our polling place is in a school which was uncharacteristically festooned with colorful political signs. A Santorum sign caught my eye. I don’t remember the slogan’s exact wording, but it was something like “Fighting For America.
My already over-stimulated ADD brain went into overload, “who are we fighting and why are we fighting them?” I asked myself. The internal dialogue accidentally discharged audibly and I couldn’t stop the cheer that burst forth, “Fight Santorum, Fight! Fight Santorum, Fight!”
After 15 years of marriage my husband is used to my drive-by comic outbursts, but some bystanders were caught off guard.
A woman that looked like a perfume model looked at me and said “oh, you must be a Republican!” —I couldn’t really process what she said because I was too busy cracking myself up. Then I realized there were two perfume models (moonlighting as campaigners) standing about 20 feet from the door handing out propaganda.
I cheerfully explained I usually split my ticket, took their glossy postcards, stepped inside, and threw out their glossy postcards.
As is the case in all primaries, I had to pick a political party, a difficult task for a staunch non-partisan whose claim to fame is voting for “least likely to succeed.” I held my breath and chose a side.
Four years ago, the election judge made me declare my party choice out loud—which I thought was odd. Isn’t voting supposed to be a secret, esoteric, Sphinx-y experience?
That same election, in the same polling place, one of my friends told me a judge openly criticized his ballot choice: the judge echoed the party name back—as a question—and rolled his eyes.
Things went better this time. My election judge neighbor asked me to check a box, instead of stand on one, to declare my tenuous party allegiance.
I used the electronic ballot, and reviewed it twice to make sure my over-stimulated brain didn’t make a mistake.
A nice lady gave me an "I Voted" sticker which I wore proudly. I exercised my right to vote—even if I wasn't so sure about my choice—yet.
On the way out my husband asked about the perfume models, “Isn’t there a rule against campaigning that close to a polling place?”
Back in my home office I hopped back into my interrupted chat, “I’m back,” I typed. “Wow, that was fast,” he replied. “And almost painless,” I said.
Lynda
5:15 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
So should I say "Duh" for your "comic" remarks? Nothing funny about voting, especially in a primary when the voter should know something about each candidate not acquired from the candidate's literature. Time to really get invloved, Paulette, and use your intelligence by vettng every candidate. It's not about only the Federal government, it is about the bottom up, from Forest Preserve to County Board, to State Representatives. all of your property taxes pay for these boards. I look forward to your informed comedy in November.
Christina
12:26 am on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Lynda, I second your style and your comments about Ms. Paulette. The last thing I want to see or read about is a ditzy 40-something female making a fool of herself during an election - unless, of course, it's a Tina Fey rerun from 2008. To arrive at your polling place unsure of your party declaration during a primary?? Really? The perfume models just might be college students or unemployed young people who are passionate about a candidate and/or an issue. There is nothing wrong or funny about that, is there? One of my children cast his first ever vote in this primary. He voted early, as he was home from college last week-end. The seriousness of his demeanor at the Glen Ellyn Village Hall made me proud and yes, still hopeful that citizens will continue to participate in the process and vote as informed members of their communities. No soap box here - but no jokes either. It is time to intelligently consider and evaluate, and then vote your choice. There's a saying about people getting the government they deserve. I hope the result of this is good for all of us - yes, every single one of us.
Paulette Delcourt
7:59 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Christina, regarding the "perfume models"--one of them was the candidate's spouse, the other was a candidate's sibling--I know this because they told me. Does this not make the violation even worse? Ditzy fool? The lack of creativity is disappointing.
Justin Eggar
5:54 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Lynda, for a person that doesn't follow the simple Patch rule of utilizing ones full (real) name... you can probably allow her a little wiggle room for humor.
I'm relatively confident that Paulette had a decent understanding of the candidates that she was voting for (the ones that mattered).
Either which way, one of the freedoms that we get to enjoy as American's is voting however we please... even if we want to vote for candidates that wear blue shirts. The best we can do is to be responsible for our own voting habits. If you want to blog about your own experience with that, I'm sure we'd all love to hear about it.
Lynda
7:05 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I did leave my full name sorry if it did not get in. Full name Lynda Filipello
Blue or Red or independent I give you the last word.
Billy Gallagher
10:02 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Yeah, voting is funny. The right to vote is funnier....just ask the thousands upon thousands who died in the past making sure that you were able to write such a 'perspective'. And also, also ask the dead in those countries that never had a chance to vote but were led to death by dictators and madmen. Funny stuff, Paulette.
Justin Eggar
10:09 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Wow, did people need their daily dose of drama today?
Paulette Delcourt
10:59 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Like these guys Billy. They didn't get pizza delivery, but if they did they would probably opt out of the grubs. http://westernsprings.patch.com/articles/having-a-bad-day-try-thinking-of-peleliu
Paulette Delcourt
10:53 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
For clarity--I'm a humorist-and I'm more than a little upset that my story about a man being openly mocked for the ballot he chose (by an election judge no less); and clear violations of Illinois voting laws (did you read the link to the statute, I did) was missed. We've lost entire generations of men who fought for our right not only to vote, but to vote without intimidation, blame, shame or judgement. That was my point. I also find it fascinating that at least once a week, my opinion is met with an assumption that I don't contribute to society in any useful way--that I sit on my butt and type all day eating bonbons. Well the bonbons part is true, but I work four jobs--so I'll allow myself the indulgence.
Brian Doyle
7:33 am on Friday, March 23, 2012
Clearly, Paulette, America's problem is that we don't have emoticons for sarcasm and satire. I suppose that :| might work in a pinch (props to Bob Newhart) but your writing would probably be more effective if you could incorporate some animation. Could you please get on that?
J
10:55 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Justin, about 75% of the registered voters in our area didn't vote. Ridiculous. Just as bad are people that grab a ballot and don't give 2 seconds thought about who they're voting for.
What is the result of this? ILLINOIS.
Crooked politicians, in jail and out.Politicians, in our area, in the back pockets of the IEA, the IFT, every other teacher union PAC, the Energy(Com ED) PAC's, the IL Med Society, and on and on.
Start with state Senator Carol Pankau. Check her out on this website-
http://www.elections.il.gov/CampaignDisclosure/CandidateSearch.aspx
You'll get an education on here and figure out who is beholden to who.
Justin, if you owned a house and paid property taxes, you'd have a different view. And, Paulette, I assume that there was some preparation in learning about the candidates to go along with the humor.
Paulette Delcourt
11:24 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I want to thank everyone for your contributions to the discussion. People choose their candidates in many ways. I don't vote with my heart--I'm more of a policy person--but I would never say making a heart-based choice is wrong. There is never anything wrong with exercising free will, so from that perspective, everyone is right! I still think my point was lost--laws are put in place to create a safe haven for voters, and I don't think that safety exists any more. That is very disturbing.
Justin Eggar
11:23 pm on Wednesday, March 21, 2012
My viewpoints aren't up for sale, and property taxes (or any other tax) aren't likely to adjust my world view any more any other tax I pay (as an employer I pay plenty).
Voter turnout problems aren't a local phenomenon - look around. As far as corrupt politicians, you're preaching to the choir.
It seems you're offended that I believe people have the right to vote how and if they wish to. But again I say be responsible for your own vote (and activism) and let others be responsible for theirs.
Paulette Delcourt
12:03 am on Thursday, March 22, 2012
No offense taken at all! I just hope we realize collectively one day that ideology doesn't solve problems. I just would
love to see a plan--any plan--not 12,000 pages of laws- just one implementable plan..... Oh the dream....
Independence666
7:26 am on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Hey all, it's OK to poke fun at voting in Illinois. Voting in this state has become a pretty meaningless activity anyway. This November, as has been the case for all of my life, Illinois will be a sure thing for the Democrats. No matter how bad joblessness is, no matter how much money the US owes China, no matter how high gas prices are, the majority of people in Illinois will predictably vote for Obama. We few decenters must count on the more intelligent and informed voters, in swing states like Ohio, to save us from another four years of this disastrous administration.
Mrossi
7:41 am on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Thanks Paulette, I always enjoy your humor columns.
I too wondered about having election-related individuals so close to polling places. I took your perfume-model comment not literally, but as an analogy to how one feels at the mall when being accosted by perfume salespeople? Yes, I did feel that way... and I was just dropping my daughter off at school after an ortho appointment! This was at 9:30am. It took me so off-guard that I decided to mention to my daughter: "Remember, there will be lots of strangers at school today, so make sure to be aware." I agree, isn't there a law against this?
I have heard comments from other individuals (at a different polling location) being asked out loud about their party affiliation. Out loud. Yes, this is disconcerting. I too make my decisions based on policy, so I am not a fan of having to announce my "affiliation" to a room full of people. Would "it's complicated" be an appropriate answer?
It was a busy few weeks staying on top answering machine memory after realizing NOT to answer the phone during robo-call season. I'm assuming this mass-dialing tactic works for candidates, but it is really annoying to the rest of the population. The day of the election I got a call from an actual real person (ah, those were the days). Unfortunately when the guy asked if he could count on my vote for his candidate, I had to tell him that I am actually registered for the other party, but good luck with that!
Dave
3:09 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
If I am not mistaken, the Election Code requires voters to request the ballot of the party of their choice in an "audible voice." I presume one of the reasons for this is to minimize the possibility that someone is given the wrong ballot and does not notice it. (I know, that should not be likely to happen, but given how uninformed a lot of voters are I suppose it's not all that improbable.) In other words, everything is required to be out in the open to minimize opportunities for errors and/or mischief.
Of course you are not announcing how you you will vote in the general election, you are only asking for the ballot of your choice at the primary.
Electioneering is not allowed within 100 feet of the entrance to the room in which the polling place is located. The election judges typically place red/orange cones at the 100 foot boundary, so if electioneering was occurring within the cones that was definitely illegal and should be reported to one of the election judges. Now if those persons were pollwatchers they can be inside the polling place. (Pollwatchers need proper creditials they must present to the head judge, called the Technical Judge.
Paulette Delcourt
7:47 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Thank you Mrossi, you made some good points that I am too weary, and apparently dizzy, to write. Why do we have to pick a side so early? Some of us may need more time to think. Harrumph!
CAROLE
9:55 am on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Why must we "declare" a PARTY to vote in a Primary election??????? It is an invasion of PRIVACY.
Lynda
1:26 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Carole,
In Illinois we do not declare a party, we choose a particular ballot based on the candidates that are running for election in the party of their choice. We can choose a different political party at every primary. If you have a favorite then that's the one you pick. You can visit Dupage election commission or Illinois election commission and learn a lot about the process. An informed voter is the best unit of our Republic.
Dave
3:43 pm on Friday, March 23, 2012
It is more than a little disconcerting to see how many people are completely baffled by the electoral process and the purpose of primary elections.
Billy Gallagher
1:08 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Paula, I really liked the story on Peleliu. I did not see that when it first was published. So true in all respects. People who pull a U-turn to park in front of Casey's as they cut you off and honk at you for daring to drive legally need to read that!
Paulette Delcourt
7:33 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Thank you for reading it Billy. Those men deserve our heartfelt gratitude and deep respect. Read Unbroken next and prepare to cry and rejoice at the same time.
bill trudeau
3:32 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
I voted early at Elmhurst City Hall, and one of the election personnel had a dog in the Council Chambers. I couldn't help but think it should have had its name on the ballot.
Paulette Delcourt
7:35 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Are you sure his name wasn't on the ballot? Oh wait...that's DuPage County right? Never mind.
J D McNugent
4:29 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
I voted at a little church in Downers Grove. I walked in and they asked me if I wanted a Democrat or Republican ballot and I proudly shouted for all to hear...Republican ticket please! LOL I am not afraid of anyone judging me for my political affiliation. I am proud of it. Republican's have done a lot of good for this country.
1863 - Emancipation Proclimation
1919 - Women won right to vote after Democrats blocked it.
1954 – A Republican Wrote the Brown v. Board of Education decision
1954 – Republicans Established the Federal Highway System
1957 – Republicans Passed the Civil Rights Act
1957 – Republicans Ended Racial Segregation in Little Rock
1981 – Reagan Tax Cuts
1987 – Tear Down This Wall: Reagan demands freedom for Eastern Europe from the Soviets
So no matter what anyone tells me I am damn proud of the accomplishments of the Grand Ole Party.
Tommy O
7:41 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Any this century, Ron? LOL
Paulette Delcourt
7:41 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Pseudo Ron Burgandy--this is shocking! You forgot Teddy Roosevelt! The National Park System! Panama Canal! Bully to you! Can you please revise your response to include the original American idol? Sorry--it's just that...I'm such a fan of his!
Independence666
8:14 am on Friday, March 23, 2012
Just do a quick survey of the cities and towns that are run by Democrats today and you will find that they are some of the most crime ridden god forsaken places in this country. The more free stuff they hand out, the more spoiled their constituents become. It's a recipe for disaster that is now beginning to happen at a national level.
J D McNugent
9:40 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Stay Classy Paulette!! ;)
Paulette Delcourt
11:50 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2012
Read Colonel Roosevelt--you'll enjoy it :). Ironically, he was also considered a "Progressive" at the time--all that honesty, anti-corruption, project management and tree-hugging was too much for his contemporaries I guess.