"Safter"?

"The race hasn't even begun and already there are doping allegations against the swimmer in Lane 2."

"This is the casting call for Back to School II, right?"

Excuse me sir, is this the adult swim class?

And in lane two representing the United States....

By the time Tom the Duck realized the beach ball wasn't mandatory, it was to late..

"Hi, I'm Danny DeVito - this IS 'Swimming with the Stars', right?"

"Listen guy, I gotta hand it to you. As a grown man, I don't think I'd have the guts to wear a bathing cap in public!"

I thought they'd fixed that drain suction problem in my pool ...

"I'm from Team Atlantis - why do you ask?"

Would you know if they have that chemical in the pool that turns blue after someone pees in the pool?

This is the 50 meter freestyle swim right?

Rubber ducky you're the 1............you make the Olympic swim team so much more fun.........

YES I CAN!

I AM LOOKING FOR THE GOLD!

They told me this was a "wear your funny outfit" swim event!!!

Hey, what are you looking at? I'm clean!

What the field would look like had Chicago was to host the 2016 Olympics with the automatic qualification process bestowed on the host nation.

"Oh, I'm not looking for Olympic Gold. I'm looking to get 2 million hits on YouTube when I post the video."

Ralph Lauren outsourced our Olympic Speedos to China. Why do you ask?

wait till you see my flag !

"I heard the IOC has been a little lax with swimmers using PED's,I thought I'd see what I could get away with".....

Marco...

FINA bans controversial full-body swimsuits

Excuse Me. How long is the 15 minute adult break?

Soooo... This ISN'T Centennial Beach Adult Float??

AFLAC!

what you looking for duck and polka-dots is the new spedo.

what you looking at duck and polka-dots is the new spedo.

Your right I did forget my swim cap. I hope it does not slow me down in the 100 m.

I heard that Michael Phelps started this way

And not only do I bet you $10,000 that I will win the gold in this race, but I will also have the unemployment rate under 1% by the time my first day in office as president is done.

"When they said I'd be swimming across the pond I didn't know that meant London"!!

I may look dopey with this duck around my waist - but its my favorite ducky.....
and you should look inside the ducky.....it has a micro computer with speed of over 1000 miles per hour.....
and I will still pass my drug test....and pass you all by in the water.....
Just hope the cameras are fast enough to catch me on NBC
Yahoo - Ducky Doo - Gold Medal for Me (and ducky too).

Hot enuff for ya?

"Waveless pool?!....thats no fun."

In lane 2, Grandpa Michael Phelps swimming in his 10th Olympics is allowed to use the floaties under the American's with Disability Act.

'When I did this in 2002 it was great. But are you guys really ready?'

Would you guys mind waiting 30 minutes? I just downed two hot dogs and don't want to cramp up.